The smile that furrows your face and crinkles your eyes and twists your nose a little and clears that constant air of frowning absorption.

Your sudden bouts of concern and kindness before you disappear into the abyss of your own mind. Nights and days and years of living your pain, holding you through sleepless nights, shedding your unshed tears, hurting with your hurt, even when I have been the one who hurt you.

It didn't matter what I did or you did but now when you are suddenly grateful..my heart stops and I live in fear.